Love

Well we just finished Amanda's kindergarten year. And even though it flew by, a lot happened in those nine months. Her dad didn't contact her at all. We discovered that she is slowly losing her hearing. And finally, the biggest one, she was diagnosed with Asperger's. What does this mean for her? Well, honestly nothing really. She had her IQ tested and we discovered she is incredibly smart, and the school is going to let her try 2nd grade this fall. If it doesn't work out and she struggles, we will put her in 1st grade. I know that there are lots of reasons as to why I shouldn't do this, but here's my question to all the people who doubt my decision: Why should I hold her back? She loves to learn so let's let her learn. The biggest thing that worries me about her is that this is something she will have to deal with her entire life. She is already getting made fun of at school. It's heart breaking to see your child not understand why kids say the things or do the things they do to her. However, there is a plan in this. God has His reasons. We can't see them or most of the time understand them, but there is a plan in this. I believe that He has big plans for Amanda.

Now, my baby starts kindergarten this fall. I can't even begin to describe the emotions I am experiencing over that. She is my baby. Knowing that I may not have any more children makes this even harder. I look at her and I still see my precious toddler following me around because she wanted me to hold her.

I am so thankful for both of my children. They are so beautiful and unique in their own ways. I am loving watching them grow up and watching them learn about God and how He sent Jesus to die for our sins. I love listening to them belt out in the back seat "God's not Dead He's surely alive" when it comes on the radio.

I am have not made the right decisions when I was 18, 19, 20, even now. But God gave me those girls to change my life. And to show me about how much it hurt Him to send His own son to the cross.