Am I More?

Sometimes I get to point where I really being to wonder if God can see past all the mistakes I've made. People look at me and tell me that you are a really good person. But they don't know. They don't know all the stupid things I've done. All the hurts I've caused. All the problems I've caused. They don't know the selfish decisions I've made. And being a parent, most days I feel like I've failed at being a good parent. And when I share my thoughts with other people they don't understand why I feel this way. "Because you are a good person." The Bible says that being a good person isn't good enough. I want to have a heart for Him. I want to be close to Him, but everything I do pulls me away from Him. Failure. It's becoming a familiar feeling.



I heard this song on the way to work this morning and it made me cry, because it reminded me I've been remade.

Don't call me that.

Am I the only that doesn't like it when others call you an inspiration? I'm not an inspiration. I am not someone to look up to. I am so worried that my actions will lead others astray, when I'm trying to lead them to Him. So please don't get mad if I say I'm not someone to look up to. I'm struggling with myself to keep putting God first, and I fail most days.

One of those days...

I am just so glad that God has given me a heart that one days like today, when I think about His grace and His mercy, I am overwhelmed to the point of tears.  God loves me. God provides for me. God is still God even if my world was falling apart. Some days, I have a tendency to forget how good He is to me. And then there are days like today where all I can think about is his goodness.